This month we celebrate the many experiences, lessons, missteps and triumphs of single mothers for Single Mom Stories September. Join us by reading, sharing, commenting and -- if you have your own story to tell -- contributing here as we strengthen the circle of support of mamas.
Contributed by UberDorkGirlie
As a single mom, there are many big questions I get asked that I have to answer on my own. I tried to co-parent those answers with their father, but that’s a whole other story. Some I have successfully dodged, some I have not.
My eldest is 9. Nine going on ninety, which is what you get when you have girls who are old souls with huge, active minds. One of the most amazing things as I have watched them grow, is that even when they were in my belly, I could feel their personalities. So different, yet so similar. Proud, strong, loving, inquisitive. And little forces to be reckoned with.
They tackled me two summers ago and made me tell them about sex. Eldest, my "Spock" of sorts, pulls out the logic that I can’t refute even at 7 (almost 8 years old). She said “Mom, you’ve avoided it long enough and kids are starting to talk. Would you rather we learn from you or from them? Some of them aren’t so smart.”
Today they asked me what religion we were. I thought about it and decided to talk it out with them.
Neither of my girls are baptized, which is something that bothers my parents and my ex-mother-in-law. I was raised Catholic, but the Catholics and I definitely do not see eye-to-eye. I refused to pick a random church to have them baptized in to appease others. There are cultures and faiths that wait until the children are old enough to choose to be baptized. Also, I don’t believe that there is a God that that would fault children for the choices of their parents.
But, that doesn’t mean they lack beliefs or spirituality. They’ve been to church. They know who Jesus is. And Ganesh. We have a giant Buddha they call “Our buddy, Buddha.” They love to celebrate Christmas and Hanukkah. And to make a Thanksgiving tree every year filled with the names of people we are thankful for.
All of this has one thing in common: Love. Love is the recurring theme in our lives. The cornerstone by which all decisions are made. My girls were 1 and 2 years old when I became a single mom and I created a family motto to parent by. Our motto: “We’re all about the love.” Love is our foundation.
We believe in love - in the power of it. We believe in not saying goodbye when we leave, but “giving love.” We hug people we just met. We hold doors open for strangers and give them random compliments. We donate to and help those in need. We believe in showing love to those we barely know and especially those who don’t seem like they deserve it. We believe that love is the most important thing in this world, that people have the right to be loved and to love whomever they want. That every human being is worthy of love. That love has the power to save lives and change the world.
Our religion is love.