Contributed by Susie Felber
On a recent visit to the pharmacy, my son saw the current Mega Millions jackpot and he’s still young enough that I was impressed he could “read” $144,000,000. Then I commenced a lecture about how the lottery is a terrible way to spend your money because chances of winning are slim to none, etc. Basically, I was a total no fun wet blanket. But secretly? I dream of winning the lottery even though I don't play it. So who’s the unrealistic one here? Anyway, just because single mamas are on a budget doesn't mean ya can't dream of winning the lottery to pay attorney fees, kid college tuition...and the occasional Versace baby snowsuit.
Here then are 10 fabulous ridonkulous products to dream about that are, when you have the bucks, only a click away.
Mega mansion playhouse; $11,709
It’s a playhouse that features 10 flower boxes and adult-sized French doors. No doubt this thing makes Barbie’s Dream House look like a slum. If you are insanely wealthy but also very handy, the DIY version is only $8,035.
Versace baby bunting; $789
No trip to Aspen with your infant is complete without a nylon and fox fur snowsuit by Young Versace. The only hard part about this purchase is your baby might be wearing the same thing as Ivanka Trump’s kid (awkward!) and also potentially problematic as we have no idea how hard it is to remove spit-up from fox fur.
Remote Control Eagle; $359
Actually, you don’t need to win the lottery for this one, (because a big tax refund might cover it) but it is one of the most over-the-top remote control toys ever - what with a 6.5’ wingspan and such. The description says the motor is positioned over the top so no one will know if it’s real. However, if you have one of these what kid isn’t going to scream, “HEY EVERYBODY LOOK AT MY REMOTE CONTROLLED EAGLE!”
Inflatable Water Park; $7,999.99
Be the hit of the local swimming hole with this inflatable water park! Actually, if you can afford this unique gift idea you probably own your own swimming hole. Love that it boasts “free shipping” like that is the only thing that might hold you back from actually buying one of these.
The ultimate indulgence: something that looks like it could’ve come from Payless, but is in fact, designer lambskin luxury. These shoes say money (and brains) are no object.
4-Poster Crib; $6,490
This made-to-order crib is cream colored but somehow looks fit for a vampire’s baby. The description says it’ll make your infant feel like a prince or princess which is amazing because most infants only feel hungry, wet, gassy or sleepy.
Got your winning lottery ticket and need Christmas gift ideas? Look no further. This thing looks fun and dangerous.
Amusement Park Ride on Railroad; $23,000
The kid who has their own backyard railroad is not allowed to grow up and claim they need therapy and/or you ruined their life. Just flash a pic to the therapist of your kid and on this thing and you're off the hook for trauma. OK, maybe not. But who wouldn’t want to give their kid this? Only a parent with no backyard, that’s who.
Goes up to 70 mph over water. Is this even legal? Who knows, but your pampered tween will adore it. The poor deprived kid with the inflatable water park will be crying in their silver-spoon soup when they see your kid flying by.
Lego Death Star; $399.99
This is the coolest Lego set ever. Features 24 minifigures, a rocket launcher and a working trash compactor. No doubt mommy or daddy will wanna build it.