The Old Year didn't just mean a flip of a calendar for a list of celebrity couples. It also meant the end to marriages, some in legal or separation limbo for a long time and others just announced to the good people of the Book of Face and Twitters. Here are the celebs who sang Auld Lang Syne to their spouses as 2014 drew to a close.
Not funny: Chris Rock and philanthropist Malaak Compton-Rock released a statement confirming they've filed for divorce and requesting privacy as they work out the details while parenting their daughters, aged 12 and 10. The couple was married 19 years.
I can't even discuss the downfall of the Tim Burton-Helena Bonham Carter 13-year union. How in the world will they ever find more perfect partners?
Elon Musk, founder of the trifecta of Tesla Motors, SpaceX and PayPal has filed for divorce for a second time with wife/ex-wife/wife again/soon-to-be-ex actor Talulah Riley. Their first marriage lasted four years and this one spanned another year. After filing on New Year's eve in LA, Musk said the couple agreed he'd give Riley a $16 million settlement and divide shared property per (ohyesindeed) prenup. Riley spent the last five months of their marriage directing Scottish Mussel, her debut feature film project.
Idina Menzel's divorce from Taye Diggs is finally final after a year-long separation. Cue the headline word play: Couple is no longer sharing the Rent. At last, they've Let It Go. Menzel Diggs out of divorce. Frozen star and ex-husband have cooled it for good. Any others to add?
Also getting the big old red FINAL stamp on their divorce papers are Twilight's Nikki Reed and American Idol alum Paul McDonald, who have split assets and pet custody but continue to collaborate on music projects.
If you've been keeping up with the Kardashians, you also know that Kris and Bruce Jenner's papers have been signed, sealed and will be, per California legal waiting periods, delivered in March of this year. Reports say a prenup was a no, custody of their teens was not necessary, spousal support was also a no, and a lump-sum asset equalizer of $2.5 million paid by Kris to Bruce was a big yes. That report also says each will get to keep their own jewelry, which is...good to know, I guess?
Jane Lynch and wife Dr. Lara Embry ended the year with a finalized divorce as well. The paperwork awards the clinical psychologist half of the royalties from several television seasons and entertainment projects by the Emmy-award winning Glee star and Hollywood Game Night host.
Giada De Laurentiis ended the year announcing the end of her marriage to fashion designer Todd Thompson. The couple has a six-year old daughter, Jade. I really, really want to believe that buddy Padma is available in these situations to mic-up and ask the couple to pack their knives and go.
Gwynnie says that the relationship she now has with Chris Martin is the one they "were meant to have." She also says that "nothing dramatic" happened during the divorce and that the conscious uncoupler "just sort of hit a wall."
"I had built my life around being all things to all people," she shared in a cover story for Marie Claire, "and I just couldn't do it anymore."
Most of us can relate to that, even if we're not wearing her Goop-recommended $500 cashmere wraps and other mommy must-haves.
"We've worked really f---ing hard to get to [this] point," she said of her co-parent. "But we're very, very close, and it's so nice."
Awesome. Can we stop discussing this split until Chris Martin lets his kids cram in fast food again?